For some reason yesterday I was thinking of the biggest movie disappointments during my lifetime. I'm speaking of movies in which I held high hopes and was let down immensely. Here are few that come to mind...Goldeneye: The trailers looked amazing. It was the rebirth of 007 after a six year hiatus. But the plot was third grade and the final action set piece revolving around running over a big satellite dish was boring. The industrial flavored musical score was terrible. The trailers held showed so much promise that even now if I see one I think...I should give Goldeneye another look only to be disappointed again. And again. And again.
Hudson Hawk: This movie looked like it was going to combine the action DieHard Bruce Willis with the comedic genius Moonlighting Bruce Willis. Supercool James Coburn was cast as a badguy. But the movie fell completely flat. Unfunny jokes and stupid musical numbers equal lame flick.
Black Rain: Michael Douglas at the peak of the mid-80's Wall Street years and up and coming Andy Garcia fresh off The Untouchables in a Japanese Yakuza/Triad gangster flick set in Tokyo? On paper - awesome. On the screen...slow, ponderous and sleep inducing except for that cool scene when Garcia gets decapitated in a parking garage by a motorcycle riding Yakuza hood.
The Big Bounce: An Elmore Leonard book. Great cast with Owen Wilson, Morgan Freeman, Gary Sinese, Charlie Sheen and even freakin' Willie Nelson set in beautiful Hawaii! The screenplay botched both the story and Elmore dialogue.
The new Star Wars movies: Jar Jar Binks. Pansy Anakin. Bad acting. Terrible dialogue. I am still ticked at George Lucas for this disgusting missed opportunity. Could have been another Lord of the Rings. Ended up being Lord of the Crap.
The Pirates of the Caribbean sequels: Couldn't understand the creole and pirate accents. The F/X way overdone. Totally lost the charm of the original. I still have yet to pay to see the third one since the second one was so bad.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Crystal Skull: Lucas, Spielberg and Harrison Ford? How do you mess this up? Well you throw in stupid Shia LaBOOF, Kate's really bad haircut and bad Russian accent, monster fire ants and aliens from outer space? Aliens? Really!?! I almost cried to see Indiana Jones reduced to this tripe.
The Godfather Part III: Actually not too terrible...just pales considerably to the first two classics. Sophia Coppola, who's gone on to direct some awesome movies of her own, has been beaten down for years over her performance so I won't pile on. Okay, yes I will...her scenes make me puke (But I've forgiven her for her movie "Lost in Translation"). I don't understand why Pacino sounds like he's growling when he talks (very similar to Batman's voice in the new Christian Bale versions) and Bridget Fonda is just too light weight to be in a Godfather movie.
