Dick Diver. Freakin' Dick Diver and his easy F. Scott Fitzgerald charm. The full evolution of his race? I knew Dick Diver in 7th grade. His name was Craig Palmer and he was a drummer who was too cool to play in the band. He went to school dances with 8th grade girls and played in a garage band called Public Interest. His band was a band of Rick Perry frat boys and could only cover cheesy 60's songs like Woolly Bully. His hair was never messed up and he had a Tom Cruise "grinning like an idiot" smile. He wore Izod and Polo golf shirts with the collar up and never wrinkled khakis. He looked like a yachting instructor or a Young Republican. Craig Freaking Palmer never spoke to me or hassled me or even knew I existed. He was too busy hanging Union Jack flags in his room thinking that made him edgy between golf lessons and lacrosse practice.
